Saturday, June 15, 2013

10 Ways to appreciate Step-Dads

Father's Day is a day to honor all of the dads in your life. I wanted to give step-dads the credit they deserve, but do not always receive. It takes a strong man to step into the lives of children that are
another man's biological children.

Ten ways to appreciate a Step-Dad for everything he does on a daily basis.

  1. Do not compare him to your children's biological father. They are different men, and it is not fair to compare them. Think of their step-dad as a "bonus" dad, and try to notice all of the ways he goes above and beyond.
  2. Make sure the children spend one on one time with him. Find something that can just be his to do with the children. My husband enjoys teaching my youngest to cook. They both enjoy it immensely, and it makes them both feel special.
  3. Do not make him the disciplinary parent. It is difficult enough to be a step-parent without making him the bad guy.
  4. Tell him often how important he is, and that you are grateful for all that he does.
  5. Try to keep the stories that involve bio-dad to a minimum. Focusing on what happened before he came along makes him feel insecure and like he is less important.
  6. Make sure to include him in all important decisions. Co-parenting is tough, and it is easy to leave one opinion out, which can lead to resentment.
  7. Understand that at times he can feel like it is him against the world. If he says something to the children that you disagree with, he suddenly feels like an outsider. Try to treat him like he is part of your family, at all times, even during disagreements.
  8. Have date nights with just the two of you. It is important for your marriage to be a united front, and this is much more effective when you take the time to build up your relationship.
  9. Ask him for his opinion. He has one, and it can often be overlooked.
  10. Make sure the children know how selfless, patient, and strong a step-dad has to be for his children.
Happy Fathers Day to all of the wonderful Stepfathers. Thank you for all you do.

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